But what can I say?

Ways to help bereaved parents


When our 14 year old son died, many people wanted to be supportive to us, but didn't know how. They asked me what things they could do or say, that might be helpful (or not helpful). I included comments from dozens of other bereaved parents too. The result is a book of ideas, suggestions and insights which would be very useful for anyone who wants to help grieving people. I have also discovered that grieving people appreciate the book too and have experienced emotional healing as they read it.
Also by Heather Kerridge

The Storm

If you'd like a copy of the book, signed by the author, email Heather for an order form.

'But What Can I Say'
A$20.00 inc GST

'The Storm'
A$30.00 inc GST

Order Form

Reader Responses

I thought I was grieving wrongly but discovered in your book, that I was 'normal'. It's been very healing for me. Thankyou.

I wanted to say how wonderfully informative (your book) was

You put your heart and soul into it! It's excellent!

Couldn't put it down! I'd read it again!

I know it's going to be an incredible help to those who are grieving and to those who want to help.

Our family: From left, Christopher, Jeremie, Graham (my husband),
Camara, myself (Heather), Rowen (deceased) and Coralie.

The Storm

"Mum if I die, would you use this photo?"

'The Storm' is a deeply personal account of my grief journey, taken from my diary, following the death of my son Rowen.

I have chosen the analogy of a storm to describe the turmoil of emotions that followed Rowen's death.

The book's subtitle is 'Mum, if I die, would you use this photo?' This was the question Rowen asked me, following his diagnosis of a potentially fatal heart condition. We did use that photo on Rowen's coffin. It is also the same photo that is on the cover of 'The Storm'.

What is it like for a family, when a child dies?
How does if affect your marriage, your faith, your relationships?

Do you ever come to peace?

Every bereaved parent's story will be different.
'The Storm' gives privileged insights into some of the feelings involved in the tragedy of the death of a child. It may help those who are grieving such a loss, to know they are not alone.

It also shows how people were able to help me, which could be useful for those who are walking a friend through grief.

The final chapter is called The Hint of a Rainbow, which contains a thread of hope for the future.

Feel free to email me at: heather@butwhatcanisay.com with your comments or to share your own grief story.

Family Hospital


"The Storm"

Cross Christmas

© 2011 Heather Kerridge